So, I've had a few comments lately about my poetry and songs, and I've discussed how poets don't always talk about themselves and their lives/feelings. I also had a request for more of my writings, so here you go. This is the reverse. This is all about my life and for the last 5 years. Hope you enjoy it, and can read my underlying message.
Run Away
11 years old, Dad’s in a wreck,
He could live or die, I didn’t know yet,
Grandma’s takin’ over, Mom’s never home,
I lost my faith, be a while ‘fore it came back.
The anger at God that He did this to my dad
Made me so mad, it’s just too much to be had,
There’s no one to turn to, no one for comfort,
Pastor left the church, and everyone was hurtin’.
I was still alone at night, lying awake in my bed,
Pictures of Dad in a coma circling around my head.
My heart was bleeding, there was nothing to stop it,
The scar’s still there, still hurts once in a while, yet
Dad finally came home but things weren’t getting better,
I still stayed covered in my blue hooded sweater,
I was too young for this, the pain of an adult,
It was never ending, never ceasing turmoil.
Chorus:
And I just wanna
Run away,
Make the memories
Fade away,
Give up on this
Ending play,
Turn around,
And run away.
I’m gonna run
Far away,
Make the memories
Fade away,
Why do I have to
Die this way?
I just wanna go
Run away, far away.
At age 14 I was looking for love,
Nothing much, just somethin’ to keep me up.
But I found the guy I thought was the one,
Gave him my heart, became blind to the cons.
He seemed so devoted, completely true to me,
At last I felt the two whole halves of me.
I was sure we could make it to the ends of the world,
Well, for 10 months at least, before he found another girl.
The scar opened up and the pain flooded in,
I blamed myself for all the hurt I was feelin’, then,
Mom turned for the worst, and I feared for her life,
Oh God, not Mom! Take me instead to your side!
She was diagnosed with cancer, had immediate surgery,
I was there in the waiting room, crying to my knees.
First Dad, now Mom, what (or who) was next in line?
Was life on earth really worth the pain I felt inside?
Chorus
My sweet 16 is rolling around and I can
Still feel the wounds bleed from time to time, but then
I know the pain is temporary, God’s love is forever,
It was His hand that kept me from ending my life, however,
I finally understand why I went through all I did,
God was using all the hurt and pain to bring me back to Him,
And I can finally see the sunshine, the warmth is pouring in,
I can take the hoodie off and feel Him touch my aching skin.
I’m not broken, I’m not a mistake.
I’m a beautiful creature that God himself made.
Whenever I’m hurtin, I remember what he gave,
His own son, He died, so that I would be saved.
Don’t have to run no more, I don’t have to hide,
I can let go of everything I keep inside,
I know why I’m here, I know why He did this,
I’ll stand for Him until His plan is finished.
Chorus x2
11.07.2007
Run Away
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8 comments:
It sounds like your life has been very difficult in the last five years. I'm very sorry about that. On the other hand, I'm glad to hear that you realize that "God was using all the hurt" to bring you back to Him. It's so wonderful to know that God loves us eternally, even when we turn away from Him!
I'm praying for you.
God bless,
Christine
Emma that was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!!! That was probably your best thing yet!!!! *Hugs hugs hugs*
Love,
~Kayla
You've been through more than most people go through in their first 30 years of life, and most of your peers don't have a clue about how difficult it's been.
God has certainly taught you much, like how to be more discerning of lies, how to trust Him when people let you down, and that He really IS sovereign over the affairs of men.
For my part: Almost a year later, I'm glad things happened the way they did with You-Know-Who. It revealed a lot, and you're so much better off now.
I wouldn't say I that I have a closed mind (on the contrary, there are a lot of things I won't post about because I think very abstractly, and, unfortunately, most Christians seem to take it the wrong way). I really do not like this new blogger comment setup. In fact, it's driving me crazy... maybe it's my computer... and if it is, I MUST SOUND crazy!!! My computer only disconnected on me five times while trying to get onto people's blogs and comment!!!
God bless,
Christine
haha guess what?!? It was my computer, because it wasn't showing me the visual verification, so I had to redo it, and tada! the commenting page is back to normal.
Hey i remember that one! Tiz one of ur best
Doesn't it blow your mind how God can take bad times in a person's life and turn them out for good, and ultimately His glory? That's what keeps me going through the day...
Thanks for sharing a little bit about you life over the past couple of years. Keep going strong!!
Thomas
Hey Emma,
That made me tear up. I am thankful that those hard times are over, at least for now.
Thanks for sharing. You are an amazing poet.
Call me sometime!
Jess
Wow! I go to check your blog today and what do I see? You've changed your whole template! I don't have the nerve to make too many changes to mine for fear I'll mess it up!
Love the new picture on your profile.
RT
p.s. I could teach you how to make soap yourself and you could put in the wildflower scent pretty easily. The grass one, hmmmm. That might be more difficult!
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